JW isn't one you hear as much about. Especially on my blog. He is our more down to earth and easy going child. He's Mr Independent who spends his days being creative and indulging his active imagination. He's my "little Monk". You know, the incredibly awesome show featuring Tony Shaloub as Adrian Monk - OCD ex police officer. That's him and me all rolled into one with a little bit of his father's temperament.
But almost 6 years ago he was the first born that rocked our world. And almost 6 years ago I struggled to understand why he was born premature. We lived in fear and worry for the first few weeks of his life, one scare after another in the NICU. And the feeling I felt leaving him at the end of visiting hours each day was a terrible one. It left a knot in the pit of my stomach. I just wanted to have my baby home with me and never let him go. Well that knot came back as he and I said our goodbyes this morning.
He's only ever been left with my mother or the occasional family member babysitting for a few hours. After all the tears he shed this week I was prepared for the waterworks. But he choked them back and gave me the biggest hug I think he's ever given me and simply said "I love you Mama". I couldn't look back as I walked out. And that's when I noticed the knot.
My cup runneth over with love for him and his big heart!
He doesn't handle everything well just yet. Disappointment is hard for him because he strives for order and perfection. But he will learn. He will learn just how proud we are of him no matter what!
